Thursday, April 14, 2011

SHINE BY FINAL PLACEMENT!!!

THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO SAY!!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

LAST NIGHT A DJ BECAME MY WIFE!

Hello geni-i

I is back on this thing again to get out of my angsty, australian head to share a piece of video or song that will make me look back one day and say "wow, that was incredibly pointless" but at least i did it.

I am going to of course charm you with my wit, my contagious attitude towards life and affirm your arising suspicions that yes probably I could be a tosser.

but fuck it your here and this is what is going down.

CONSTANTLY

at the moment I am being constantly harrased by people to be there DJ.

why?

Because i love playing tunes from itunes and stopping them mid song and screaming boring when they are boring and playing 90's hip hop and r & b and being generally ironic and then noticing that most of the people there are not being ironic and then i think that maybe I could be a cunt and then i start playing all night long by lionel rithcie and everybody loves it and then suddenly I'm not a cunt I am the best thing since sliced bread, wow maybe I should do this for a living then I think no way you're an idiot you are literally just pressing play and stop for a living, and people will love it but then I put on some obscure gospel track but people haven't left the dance floor and I'm on to my 6th scotch and then fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!

alright, that is enough.

OH DJ'S of the world I have written you a poem or an apology:

kings of the wheels of steel,

my track pad on my apple feels just as real,

as I spin another hit off into the floor,

I will make you a promise from the inner beam of my core,

I will never again in the cold light of day,

ever claim to be a DJ,

and I hope till the end for as long as I live,

that you can find it in your heart to forgive.


here is my number for the next event: 555 DIG TDOG

this is a DJ/HIP HOP/BLOCK PARTY CLASSIC FOR Y'ALL!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

COMPUTERS SAVED MY LIFE!!!

"You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too"

What a prick!!! But what a tune!!!!

this song I cannot get out of my head and I can not stop playing it and it brings me one step closer to thinking that it is inevitable that I need to live as either a new romantic or my last obsession. A CRIP OR BLOOD in the 90's!!!!!

enjoy fuckers!!!!

P.S. Is that chris deburgh making a footprint in cement????

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

MOVING OUT!

I'm moving out mothafukkas!

see you when it's done!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

TRAINING FOR THE TITLE!

For those of you who know me i have taken up the ancient art form of training to beat the shit out of another human being!

Now I'm not saying that I am going to practice this art for in, say for instance, bars, clubs, weddings, TAB's (for americans this means little casinos in australia where men gamble there families pay checks) or concerts, but I do rather enjoy it!

I have decided to agree with the late great norman mailer on this subject and the subject of the internet which is what you and I are indulging in right now:

On Boxing : "I respect most boxers because they're violent people who learned to discipline themselves ... a good boxer is an artist ... Boxing is existential - some fights are better than others." Norman Mailer

On the Internet : "I think the internet is the greatest waste of time since masturbation was discovered." Norman Mailer

So Norman.... In your opinion I am developing into violent masturbator with self discipline!

Thank god for that!

Monday, May 25, 2009

HOMELESS

well it has happened guys!

I am "homeless homeless

Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake"

which seems to suit me fine. I think that being a perpetual guest is the life for me for the moment!

here is an example of the type of music you write when you are "HOMELESS".

I know it is somewhat unacceptable for me to think that my situation has anything on apartheid south africa but what a great fucking concert this was!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Well ladies and gentlemen, Its time for me to share a little secret of mine to the world of the interweb!

the most incredibly mind boggling green screen music ever made!

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!